Do you know, I became a mercenary to hunt down a man and kill him? I thought that when that day came, I would be prepared. But I was only a little younger than you when I killed someone for the first time - self defense, because he would have killed me if I hadn't. That was ten years ago, and to this day I still have nightmares about it.
When I finally found that man though, eight years later, I thought I was ready again. And yet, it took me two years to work up the nerve to do it. Two years, when all I had to do was reach out and snap his neck any time I was near him. And when I finally did it? I was less ready for it than I had ever been. Despite why I had been hunting him down in the first place.
You are not just taking a life when you kill someone - you are killing a part of yourself, too. And I am not saying that to be dramatic, I am saying that because I know it does. Regardless of the reason, it changes you, and never for the better.
i get that. i know it was hard for you but i can do it. the fact that you dont believe i can is kind of insulting
you know what i am? you know that on this rock, i see everyone around me and i cant stop thinking about killing them? you know its always in my head telling me to hurt people telling me to give in and lose control even with the stupid bracelet they gave me?
If I did not think you can do it, I would not have said anything at all. It is one thing to threaten, it is another to do so in a manner in which you intend to follow through on.
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freezerburned) wrote2012-08-21 10:00 pm
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i dont remember my first night as a werewolf. i dont remember my first few days on the moon.
consciously? no. but theres a first time for everything and im ready to do whatever i have to
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Do you know, I became a mercenary to hunt down a man and kill him? I thought that when that day came, I would be prepared. But I was only a little younger than you when I killed someone for the first time - self defense, because he would have killed me if I hadn't. That was ten years ago, and to this day I still have nightmares about it.
When I finally found that man though, eight years later, I thought I was ready again. And yet, it took me two years to work up the nerve to do it. Two years, when all I had to do was reach out and snap his neck any time I was near him. And when I finally did it? I was less ready for it than I had ever been. Despite why I had been hunting him down in the first place.
You are not just taking a life when you kill someone - you are killing a part of yourself, too. And I am not saying that to be dramatic, I am saying that because I know it does. Regardless of the reason, it changes you, and never for the better.
Is that something you are willing to accept?
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you know what i am? you know that on this rock, i see everyone around me and i cant stop thinking about killing them? you know its always in my head telling me to hurt people telling me to give in and lose control even with the stupid bracelet they gave me?
i could let it take over tempest
it would be easy
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But you did not answer my question.
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its not like im not used to death tempest
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You shouldn't be used to it.
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well sorry cant really change things if i wanted to
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I know. It is just sad.
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[Not commenting on that first part.]
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