freezerburned | IC Contact for Asgard

[Isaac doesn't really know what he's expecting when he opens the door- maybe Scott or Stiles, since they're both next door now. He's been hanging out with them more and more recently, and despite Stiles' tantrums about Isaac trying to take Scott away from him, the transition has gone pretty smoothly.

So smoothly, in fact, that when he opens the front door to see Derek standing there, it's all he can really do to stop and stare at him, the mug of coffee shaking dangerously in his hands, as if he had been about to drop it before tightening his fingers at the last minute.]

Derek-

[His eyebrows lift, and it's not a bad reaction- just a surprised one, so after a moment, he shuffles aside to let him in. He's still in his pajamas, hair ruffled up from sleep, even though it's midafternoon. Some things don't really change.]

Come in, hey. [There's a slight glance toward the kitchen.] I just made some coffee. Do you want some?

[ clearly his unexpected visit is... well, unexpected. but then, not like derek's made much of an effort to see either isaac or erica here, at least not after things had started turning rocky. but while the look of surprise on isaac's face could be considered priceless, what derek was expecting doesn't happen; namely for the door to be slammed in his face. progress comes in many forms, he supposes, whether isaac realizes it or not.

derek gives isaac a look -- pj's in the afternoon, wowee -- but doesn't say anything about it.

the offer of both entry and coffee is accepted with the slightest of nods. ]

Sure. [ and with that he steps inside, gives the place a look and then it's back to isaac. ]

It's been a while. [ a pause, and to make sure he isn't accusing anyone, he clarifies; ] My fault, mostly.

[Sorry, when Isaac has days off where he's not managing a pet store or going to war, he feels pretty entitled to sit around the house in his jimjams, and nobody is really allowed to judge him for it.

Either way, he turns and moves to get Derek a cup of coffee from the pot, listening to his words with a small nod. His back is to the other man now, but he's not doing it maliciously- after a moment, he returns, bidding Derek to follow him to the coffee table and setting the mugs down on it.]

Yeah, it has been.

[It's not accusatory- he's just agreeing with him, and Isaac sits down on the couch, tucking his legs under him for warmth.]

I'm kind of surprised you're here. I thought that- well, I thought that you were done with us.

[ one day he'll bring this up and you'll be tallied some late judging points, but not today.

once the coffee is poured, derek follows isaac and sits down as well, though he doesn't reach for the coffee. ]

I thought, for a few days after we last spoke that maybe it would be better if I was. For all of us. [ he doesn't quite look at isaac when he talks, his tone as if he's admitting something bad. which, he imagines, he is since it's probably not something isaac wants to hear.

but he's quick to continue. ] But then I went home. [ "went". dreamed of home-- however it works here. ] I only just woke up. What happened there made me reconsider being done with you. Or Erica.

[ he'd say especially erica but in the end it applies to both of them equally, just in very drastically different ways. ]

[The reveal that Derek had actually gone home is actually a little shocking, and Isaac doesn't initially know what to do with it. His brow furrows a little and he takes a sip of his coffee to hide his expression, not entirely sure what Derek means.

Well... he knows what he means. He knows what he did. Parts of it, anyway, and Isaac feels like that's enough, isn't it?]

...I know. [Quietly. He repositions his hands on the mug and swallows hard, his eyes averted.] The other me- future me, or whatever... he told me. About being thrown on the streets. Replaced by your sister, or whatever.

[Isaac remembers the intense negative reaction that his other self had upon meeting with Derek, remembers the cornering, the explanation- remembers how the idea that Derek had thrown him out like that, violently and without explanation had colored his reaction toward him, even when he tried not to let it. Scott said it hadn't happened yet, he didn't know the details, he shouldn't punish Derek for something that he hasn't done, and Isaac had tried...

But now that it's out in the open, now that Derek knows he's done it, maybe there's something to be said for a resolution.]

I didn't want to tell you. I tried not to act any differently. But I- I know.

[ if he hadn't been looking at his former beta before, he is now; head snapping up and eyes on isaac. ]

You knew?

[ of course he did. it actually makes all the pieces slip right into place all the more clearly. he'd imagined, with all these months since the other-isaac had been in asgard and now, that this isaac had simply... blamed him for not being around for the sake of it being so; he hadn't been available. but now knowing isaac had known all along that derek would end up tossing him out-- the attitude, it makes sense and of course he would know. the other one would have told him because why not? a warning is a warning when it concerns yourself and someone you might even hate. ]

And never said anything.

[ some part of him, tiny, wants to almost be... angry. but he doesn't let himself. instead, he barrels on. ]

Do you know why I did what I did?

[ he doubts it. back home, he hadn't had much of a chance, nor had he made the time, to explain to isaac why. but maybe somewhere along the way, with the fighting and the killing your pack makes you stronger isaac might have put it all together despite derek not being around to confirm as much. and maybe, somehow, this isaac knows that, too. ]

[Isaac nods once, confirming Derek's words. All this time, and he's known, he's kept it from the other man, hidden his own apprehension as best he could. How could he tell him? Isaac wasn't sure if Derek would believe him, if Derek would even try to acknowledge it. What if he just shifted the blame? What if he made it worse, if he said that Isaac might as well leave now? He couldn't risk that.

He'd watched for signs, of course. He's pretty sure that he saw them, but nothing concrete enough to come forward with what he'd been told and try to work things out. Why would he? It hadn't even happened to either of them at that time. There was no reason to stir more upset in their already tremulous relationship.]

I... I don't know.

[It's not like he hasn't thought about it. He's wondered, gone back and forth between making excuses for Derek and thinking the worst of him. Isaac doesn't know what he thinks now, but he keeps his eyes downcast, purposely avoiding his alpha's gaze to stare down at his coffee.]

I guess I thought that I wasn't useful to you anymore. [It makes sense. It's what Scott had told him at the skating rink, what feels like forever ago. He's just using you for his own power. Isaac hadn't cared then, and maybe he was even using Derek for power as well. But somewhere along the line, things had changed, Derek became all he had, and he'd looked up to him- followed him, stayed loyal... hadn't he?

It's not a stretch to think that Derek wouldn't agree. Especially not after losing the other two betas.]

[ and to think derek had never thought to ask. whenever he'd asked, and rare and it had been, if isaac was alright, it had always been about the moment. not something else, anything else that might have been bothering the beta. he'd never thought that he could have learned something about back home which would be so damaging, but it all makes sense now...

his voice is firm then, demanding that isaac understand what he says to him. ]

I kicked you out because the alpha pack wanted me to kill you.

[ and had succeeded as far as boyd went. it won't make up for how derek's treated isaac here, it's not an excuse, but it is the truth of what had happened back home. ]

Your anger was better than you being dead.

[ even here though, no matter how disappointed both erica and isaac might be with him, it'll always be better than having their blood on his hands. he knows he can't avoid that back home now -- erica's death is in the past -- but he can try to prevent needless deaths here, still. and sometimes that means being out of the picture himself. ]

So you see, it was never about you not being useful, Isaac.

[Isaac takes a moment to absorb that, and the sting of guilt that comes with it. Of course Derek hadn't done it because Isaac was useless- of course there's more to it than that. He'd doubted Derek, thought the worst of him, but when had Derek ever actively done things to hurt him? Isaac still remembers the look in his eyes when he saw the cuts and bruises from the first battle that Isaac had been in, he knows that his safety is important to Derek, even if the alpha doesn't show it and treats him gruffly.

His eyes lower to the floor, unable to really look at him and just giving a soft little nod. This entire time- these past months, he'd been so wary, and for this. He could have- should have- said something, but he didn't. And their relationship had suffered and Derek had pulled away.

It really was all his fault. Of course.]

...right. You were protecting me.

[And he doesn't know the details, or that 'protection' also meant throwing glass at him, forcing him out in the middle of the night in the pouring rain, but maybe that will come later. For now, all Isaac can think is that he must have misjudged everything.]

I should have- I'm sorry. I should have trusted you.

[ the truth might be one thing, and how derek handled it all another. but there had been no time for softness, no time for explaining what and why. only that he gets isaac out of there, send him away with feelings of hurt and betrayal-- something that wouldn't allow doubt and questions to linger.

looking back on it now, maybe he could have found a different way, but it's in the past and he can't cling to it now. ]

You had every right to be wary. Angry. I never did explain back home, only sent you away.

[ so for the other isaac to be angry-- it was expected, and not something derek could deny being guilty of sending him away in the harshest possible manner. his voice is steady even if what he says next pains him; ]

And after Boyd died, I couldn't take you back.

[ the alpha pack had succeeded in showing exactly how serious they were about him killing his betas. ]

[Isaac nods again, trying to ignore the reminder of Boyd's death, and how it pangs at his heart. He hasn't experienced it yet, hasn't experienced losing Erica- all he knows is that they die and he couldn't save them. Derek couldn't save them.

It hurts, but not in a finite sort of way. It's the not knowing that does it, the confusion, the secondhand information, the not seeing Boyd or Erica in their world, not realizing them as dead.]

...yeah. I get it. [It's soft, and Isaac moves to set the coffee mug down on the table, his eyes lowered a little.] So... okay. Is that all?

[He doesn't mean it harshly, but he honestly has no idea of what else to say. Derek and him haven't been close for months now, and while part of Isaac misses him dearly, part of him also doesn't know how to navigate this gap that seems to have wedged itself between them.]

[ they're not close here and they're not close back home. a part of him wonders if he should let it be like that, but then scott's words ring in his head and-- he should try. it all depends on whether they want him present or not. of course, saying as much has never been easy for derek.

his coffee remains untouched, eyes falling to it for a brief moment before he's looking at isaac again. is that it? there's a lot to say, but then, does he need to say it all? some of it has no time or place here, except for... ]

I'm no longer an alpha.

[ he hadn't explained that back home either, it was just known-- scott most likely told the rest while derek proceeded to get out of town with cora and peter. but it had been better that way, since isaac was no longer truly his. ]

[Isaac looks up at that, surprised to hear it. Scott and Stiles both haven't mentioned it to him and he doesn't know what exactly it entails, but from the tone of voice, he can infer that it's something huge.

Of course it's huge. It means something significant, because Derek as he knows him is all about being an alpha. Derek wants power, and that's okay because Isaac wanted power too- the same way Erica wanted power. The fact that he's not an alpha anymore removes him from the equation, and for a moment his mind jumps forward, eyes widening as he looks back toward the older man.]

Wait- but Scott said he didn't- oh my god.

[Scott said he didn't kill him, but if Scott is an alpha now and Derek isn't, then how else could it have been transferred?]

[ derek can't blame isaac for the reaction, he'd been much the same when he'd seen scott's eyes glow red in the alternate version of asgard. and of course, when he'd learned the truth about it, he'd still had a hard time believing it, what with true alphas being so incredibly rare.

his tone remains even despite how isaac seems to get a little panicky. ]

Scott didn't. He didn't need to take the power from anyone. It's what being a true alpha is all about.

[ and to clarify that he's not a rotting corpse back home either, he continues quickly; ]

And nobody else stole it either. Just not in the sense you're thinking.

[His brows furrow a little at that, but Isaac can't deny that a wave of relief comes over him at the revelation and he nods carefully, taking a deep breath and trying to process this.]

So back home... I'm still with Scott? What about you?

[If Derek isn't an alpha anymore, where does that leave him? Isaac isn't sure if he wants to know, but at the same time, it's far too important of a question to leave unanswered.]

You're still with Scott. [ a part of his pack, basically. but unlike before, there's... something even about the way derek says it, like it's alright. and actually-- it's better than alright really, when he thinks about it. he trusts scott to be a good alpha, to look after isaac. they might have never talked about things, not since derek refused to leave cora's side while she was sick and isaac called him out on why he'd done what he'd done... but even then, knowing isaac was alright and with scott left derek satisfied. ]

I was leaving town when I woke up here.

[ can't close a chapter in his life without being forced back here, apparently. ]

[Isaac looks down at that, not sure if it's guilt or shame or- or what, that makes him feel so awkward about his relationship with Scott and how it overwhelms the one he had with Derek. So he just nods once, not wanting to acknowledge Derek actually leaving- not knowing if they left on even remotely good terms. From the sounds of it, they didn't.

The fact that Derek was trying to get away from Beacon Hills- from him- doesn't escape him, and Isaac leans over to set his coffee down with a soft sound.]

...you just see failure when you look at us- don't you? Not ours, but- [He can only imagine the guilt at getting two teenagers killed and sending a third to be taken care of by someone he considered a rival. Maybe that's why Derek hasn't wanted to be around them. Maybe that's why their relationship has been strained.]

[ derek can't deny the guilt, or the failure. it's always there, especially here in asgard, where he has erica's anger to deal with. justified as it is, he has no idea how to heal those wounds when she's gone back home and he can't change it. ]

I haven't exactly succeeded. Not with any of you.

[ least of all erica and boyd, but he'd failed isaac too, ultimately. ]

Fixing things back home isn't an option anymore... But I'm not entirely sure how to go about it here, either.

[ look at that! honesty. ]

[Isaac just offers a loose shrug at that, not really sure of what to say. He doesn't even know how old Derek is, how much pressure that he'd put on him to succeed when the alpha probably didn't know what to do at all. It takes Isaac a few more moments to try and sort his thoughts before he finally offers Derek a wry smile.]

You know... I never know how to act around you either. [HONESTY. It's happening. Things are going places.

The smile actually goes a little genuine, and if they were any closer then Isaac would bump their shoulders together. So... it's probably for the best that they're not.]

I'll put in a good word with Erica. See if we can all maybe level a little.

IC Contact for Asgard

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