Do you know, I became a mercenary to hunt down a man and kill him? I thought that when that day came, I would be prepared. But I was only a little younger than you when I killed someone for the first time - self defense, because he would have killed me if I hadn't. That was ten years ago, and to this day I still have nightmares about it.
When I finally found that man though, eight years later, I thought I was ready again. And yet, it took me two years to work up the nerve to do it. Two years, when all I had to do was reach out and snap his neck any time I was near him. And when I finally did it? I was less ready for it than I had ever been. Despite why I had been hunting him down in the first place.
You are not just taking a life when you kill someone - you are killing a part of yourself, too. And I am not saying that to be dramatic, I am saying that because I know it does. Regardless of the reason, it changes you, and never for the better.
no subject
Do you know, I became a mercenary to hunt down a man and kill him? I thought that when that day came, I would be prepared. But I was only a little younger than you when I killed someone for the first time - self defense, because he would have killed me if I hadn't. That was ten years ago, and to this day I still have nightmares about it.
When I finally found that man though, eight years later, I thought I was ready again. And yet, it took me two years to work up the nerve to do it. Two years, when all I had to do was reach out and snap his neck any time I was near him. And when I finally did it? I was less ready for it than I had ever been. Despite why I had been hunting him down in the first place.
You are not just taking a life when you kill someone - you are killing a part of yourself, too. And I am not saying that to be dramatic, I am saying that because I know it does. Regardless of the reason, it changes you, and never for the better.
Is that something you are willing to accept?